Play-by-Play..."The Call"

The story of a (not so) typical morning ...

Monday, November 19th was a typical Monday morning at school, a bit manic, yet bound to be productive, because there really is no other way to "be" in a middle school on a Monday morning.

8AM- ATM meeting (stands for Administrative Team Meeting) that I was, of course, a few minutes late for.  Meeting ran 8:00-9:30AM.  We concluded earlier than usual, which meant we were very productive and efficient w/ our time.  Thus, I was able to get a little work done between that and a Leadership & Lifeskills meeting w/ some 8th grade students at 10:30.  That meeting was full of goodness and energy, and it was followed by a coaching conference w/ a colleague at 11:15.

So far, a typical Monday morning.

After said meeting w/ colleague, I head to my desk to catch up on some emails before setting my mind to preparing for this afternoon's staff meeting.

While at my desk, replying to emails, I press the 'home' button on my phone, just to glance.  This is, admittedly, an obsessive/compulsive habit I have acquired over the past 31+ months.  A habit that I also admit has always produced the exact same results.  I ALWAYS look for one and only one missed call,  every.single.time.  And every.single.time that one call was never there.

So I glance, see a missed call, plus a voicemail, and I habitually glance away.  Then... my head begins to spin.  Or, the room began to spin. I am not certain which, but everything went into a spin of sorts, as my brain tried to make sense of what I just read.

NOTE-- for the entire 31 months plus 2 weeks of this adoption journey thus far, our agency (WHFC) has never called unannounced or unscheduled.  Each and every time they called, it was a always a scheduled conference call, where E, our agency case manager, would tell us a precise time that she would call us. Our most recent call w/ E was Wednesday October 24th at 3:45 PM to be precise.

I look again at my phone, and I see, more clearly, the atypical words: "WHFC Missed Call & Voicemail"

11:53 AM (11:53:27 AM) to be precise

More spinning, a lot of shaking, more than a little confused...

I listen to the voicemail. "Hi MB and J, it's E calling from WH, calling w/ some news for you guys, so when you get a chance give me a call back..."

Trying to breath...

I gotta call J.  So, I manage, w/ uncontrollably shaky hands, to call J on his cell phone.
Important here to note:
1. J rarely carries his phone
2. He seldom answers.
3. He is teaching all day.
4. I never call him at school.

11:56AM- I dial. Atypically, he answers:

I say "J, E called."
He says "Yeah?"
Me "E called, J, unscheduled. She says she has news."
Him "Oh! Ok. Ummm..."
and I have no idea what he said after that, because I think I cut him off with:
"I will come to you.  I will be there by 12:30.  I have to call E back."

J and I made a pact a long long time ago that when ever the call came, if we were not together at the time, we would somehow meet in the middle before getting "the news," so that we would hear (and see) "the news" together.

12:00PM- I call E back, incoherently, and tell her we would call her at 12:30, once I got to J's school.

I went to my admin, poked my head in her office and said "When you have a sec..."  She, w/o looking up, started to reply "Now is fine." Then she looked up at me, she saw my 'state' of being, and she said, w/ out a thought, "Go!"  She began waving both hands toward the door, "Go!"

I was in NO condition to drive.  None at all.  DWD (Driving While Delirious), I was.  I went back to my room and somehow managed to finish preparing for the afternoon staff meeting.

I left the building.  Once in my car, I atypically chose to turn off NPR, to turn off music, to just be, just me and my thoughts.  Kinda scary, if you ask me.  Just me and my thoughts...yikes!

I got on the highway, completely auto-pilot.  Not sure how I got there.  I was rarin' to go, go fast.  However, once on the highway, it was bumper to bumper, a 3mph crawl, thanks to chronic Central New York construction.  So, I was forced to drive slow, no choice to do anything otherwise.  Just me and my thoughts.  Since I was forced to drive slower than I could actually walk, I have a moment to actually take a deep breath.  This happens at the point on the road where Syracuse University is to my right, and I actually was able to breath a couple deep breaths.  I was holding the steering wheel so tight, thinking it will help me from shaking so much.  Not so much.

Traffic opens up.  I stay w/in the outer reach of exceeding the speed limit.
Get to J's school, somehow.  He already has someone covering his class. We go into a quiet conference room.

12:37PM Call E back.  It goes a little something like this:

Us "Hi E----"
E "Hi MB & J, how are you guys?"
Us "We are good." (a little chuckle and a dash of urgency)
E "So this is it, we have some good news."
Us "Okaaay..."
E "A little girl" --pause-- "4 months old, from Woliso."  
Us (gasping, and not at all certain what we might have uttered out loud)

E went on to share where she was from, what her name was, and a little background info that we needed to know.  I asked her to spell her name for me so I could see it in writing.

"Oh, this is real," I thought.  She is real.  She has a name.  That--in an instant-- changed everything.  Everything.  Just by writing her name, seeing her name, everything changed.

So, we managed to logically ask what is next.  E told us she would be sending us a file w/ all of the referral documents, including pictures, medical info, family history, etc.  She was sure to mention that the file was a large one, so it might take a while to come through.  I had to ask, "When will you be sending the file?"  She replied, "Right now," and reiterated that it might take time to come through.

We said "ok" and that we would call her back today if we had any questions, and would check in tomorrow for sure, so that we could touch base before the holiday.

I sat there in awe while J repeatedly tapped the Refresh icon on his iPad.  Repeatedly. Until there it was, The Email that comes after The Call.

And there she was.  Precious. Sweet. Baby "M."  She is The One.  No question.

We looked and looked, at pictures and documents and pictures.  Awe...

We --still in The Call Zone-- once we leave the confines of the conference room, were met by some of J's colleagues, who were as giddy as us once they heard the news. The mostly female coworkers are already planning a shower for him.  Riot!

The rest of the day is a bit of a blur...

What I do remember from the rest of the day:

• Met my mom --who just happened to be in town for a doctors appointment (what a blessing)-- and one of my sisters, at Panera nearby J's school.  Mom had coffee and I actually had some green tea, because, somehow, I thought I needed a boost of energy.  What was I thinking?  
• Spoke endlessly to family and closest friends for the remainder of the day.
• Went to a 'Buy Local Bash' at our nearby Farmers Market for dinner (we already had tickets),  We sampled local foods, brews, and desserts!  We had not a care in the world.  I felt flighty, to say the least.
• Came home to celebrate w/ Mom, aunt, and two close friends who shared one of their home brews w/ us.  We all toasted.  Cheers!

On Tuesday evening we finally opened, consumed, and finished the long-awaited Sierra Nevada Homegrown Ale.

At long last...

                     
On Thursday, it was more celebrating, giving thanks, and counting blessings w/ 22 or so family members... plus a little Skyping w/ greatly missed fam in Southern Cali.

From Monday - Today, I was officially "somewhere other than here," as Jimmy Buffett would say.

J has been inquiring about things like when she might take her first steps...and I found him in the baby aisle at Wegman's (grocery store) yesterday.  Something I never imagined being so entertaining.

But now, now I am slowly but steadily entering List-Making-Mode.  Beware...

Before I leave to make an official first list, I must say this:

Dear Family, Nearby Friends, and Far-Away Friends--

I am immeasurably grateful for how each one of you has been a part of this adventure thus far.

Whether you have been here since before day one, or you joined the trail somewhere along
the way, we are grateful for the strength and insight you have offered. I know this adventure
has still only just begun.  We are simply breaking new trail.  Much lies ahead, some of it
known, and most of it unknown.

To stay w/ the trail metaphor (although the trail is not clearly marked) we will keep you all    
"posted" along the way.  Stay tuned...

Much love and gratitude
--MB & J